Sensitivity in Action: How a Book Singlehandedly Changed My Whole Narrative

Feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated by your day-to-day activities? Discover the transformative power of Sensitive: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World. This book reshapes how you see your emotions, guides you to nurture the sensitivity within, and builds a sustainable approach toward growth.

“If you're sensitive, everything affects you more, but you do more with it. In fact, a better word for sensitive might be responsive. If you are a sensitive person, your body and mind respond more to the world around you”

- Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo -

Book Information

Title: Sensitive: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World

Author: Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo

Publisher: Penguin Life

Genre(s): Non-fiction, Psychology, Self Help

Pages: 260 pages

About: Environmental Sensitivity, Responsiveness

Advantages: Gentle wordings, easy to read, and transformative insights (including real life examples, emotional clarity, and practical guidance).

I was hanging out in a friend's room when I noticed a book titled Sensitivity: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World on their bookshelf. It had been on my long list of books to read. Although I was already in the middle of another book and had a pile of unread ones collecting dust, I felt an irresistible pull to read and finish this one first. And I was right. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect (sensitive intuition in action, much?). It arrived just when I needed its message the most. I was going through a challenging period in my self-esteem, feeling disconnected, with an inexplicable pain growing in my heart.

I’ve had aspects of myself I’ve worked on that I found difficult to understand: my fears, worries, lack of confidence in relationships, and emotional challenges, which at times felt overwhelming and out of my control. At times, I felt isolated and uncertain, which made it difficult to fully express myself. I struggled with self-acceptance and always felt like something was wrong with me, despite my efforts to try to better understand my emotions through reading. At one point, I considered that I might have Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) due to my challenges with concentration and sensitivity to my surroundings.

My energy fluctuated in waves—bursts of activity followed by the need for long periods of rest. I recall how my parents were often frustrated with me, finding me difficult. I had strong preferences, particularly with foods, textures, and clothing. I also became more vocal and emotional when I felt exhausted. Yet, I was also considered quiet and "shy," afraid to talk to strangers, a chronic overthinker, and a perfectionist who needed everything to go exactly as planned—just like my father often described, a mini version of himself.

At one point, I shut down emotionally for a long time until I finally turned to psychology to learn more about myself and my emotions. As I reflected on my past, I realized how many of my behaviors were shaped by my environment and external influences. I sometimes felt uncomfortable with my vulnerability, believing I was more affected by certain experiences than others. I often felt as if I couldn’t move past those experiences, while others seemed to do so more easily—trapped in my perspective, beliefs, and feelings. I faced challenges with participating in competitions, performing in front of others, giving presentations, and putting myself out there in general. I would get overstimulated and struggle to manage it.

But somehow, this book validated my feelings, confirmed my accumulated pain, and transformed how I saw myself. It gave me a fresh perspective on what I once considered a curse. I realized that what I thought was ADHD was actually my profound sensitivity—something that, rather than being a burden, was a gift. I had always felt like I was lagging behind my peers, and life seemed unfair, but the book helped me see that my sensitivity, which I once viewed as a weakness, was actually my strength. The rapid transformations from the experiences during my university years, all the books I’ve read, and the constructive feedbacks I’ve received were thanks to the introspective nature of my sensitivity. What once caused me so much pain became the key to my enlightenment and personal rebirth.

The book made me feel seen, understood, and validated. It shifted my perspective on myself, on the world, and on how I could move forward—letting go of the anger, disappointments, and pain that had weighed me down.

Major Lessons I Took from the Book:

1. The Gift of Sensitivity and the Responsibility to Nurture It

   
   

   The book explains how a deeply processing brain consumes mental energy almost constantly, requiring rest, space, extra time, patience, and quiet to unlock its full potential. My brain processes information more deeply and can’t be rushed, pressured, or overworked. This insight helped me understand myself better. I had often wondered how much of our genetic makeup can change, especially after experiencing my own transformation. The book discussed epigenetics, which satisfied my curiosity and validated my experiences. Epigenetics refers to how experiences can change the way our genes function, essentially allowing us to turn certain genes on or off to better respond to our environment. This concept bridges the gap between nature and nurture.

   
   

2. Overstimulation: Common Causes, Early Symptoms, and How to Recover

   
   

   I sometimes faced challenges with overstimulation, especially when I had to take care of myself away from home. I recognized that some of my habits, whether conscious or not, were not serving me well. The book taught me to recognize early signs of overstimulation, common causes, and ways to manage these feelings. It encouraged me to stop feeling guilty for resting. It helped me accept that I’m human (not a robot, oh how I wished I were)—I need rest. The book also helped me reframe my lifestyle and shape my routine to accommodate my sensitivity, leading to better effectiveness, efficiency, and productivity. It also clarified the difference between ADHD and sensitivity traits, which are often misunderstood.

 “No one gets to choose the size of their bucket; we’re all born with a different nervous system and a different capacity to deal with stimulation.” (Page 84)

3. Mindfulness: Tapping Into Rationality and Transcending Towards Compassion

   
   

   The book introduces the "Soothe system" in addition to the threat and drive systems described by Robert Greene in The Laws of Human Nature. The concept is that when your emotional brain is activated, your rational brain goes offline. To prevent emotional spirals, you can activate your cognitive brain by bringing awareness to your thoughts, such as through journaling. Writing slows down the intensity of emotions because it engages both the mind and the body. Research has shown that expressing emotions through words has numerous benefits. Some researchers even believe that language development plays a crucial role in human evolution, helping us surpass our closest relatives. Now more than ever, I stress the importance of journaling for emotional regulation and balance.

   
   

   This is where compassion differs from empathy. Empathy allows us to feel the emotions of others, enabling us to connect and form relationships. Compassion, however, involves intentionally deciding to help and following through with action. This difference in intention changes the emotional response, thus affecting how we approach interactions and how they impact us. While empathy is inherent in all of us, due to the existence of mirror neurons, the extent to which its potential is cultivated varies from person to person.

   
   

4. Navigating relationship dynamics: vulnerability, communication, and healthy boundaries

   
   

   I recently finished a chapter discussing narcissism, controlling behaviors, and other toxic traits, and I realized that I had been friends with narcissists. They constantly boasted about how "good" they were, and over time, I noticed that all their relationships were based on power plays. When I expressed my concerns, they ignored them. They would often make comments implying their moral superiority, which seemed to give them a sense of security. The moment someone hinted at their insecurities, they would become defensive and manipulative to regain control.

   
   

   From this realization, I applied what I learned from the book about managing such dynamics: asserting my boundaries, speaking my truth, and standing my ground no matter what. I’ve always struggled in close relationships—though they fulfill me, they also scare me and cause self-doubt. I’m working on transcending the “needy” or “difficult” self-narrative I once had, and now I feel more comfortable expressing my needs in a healthy, clear, and respectful way.

   
   

   I’ve also noticed that I tend to lose myself in relationships. Even in my closest and most nurturing connections, I sometimes feel disconnected or uncertain (I know it’s me, I swear, not them). To my closest friends—you know who you are—I am incredibly grateful for your understanding as I navigate my self-discovery. I know I can be confusing at times, as I am still figuring things out. I am thankful for your patience as I continue to grow and express myself more openly and authentically. How I wish I could just communicate via telepathy and convey everything through my eyes (joking, or am I?).

On a deeper level, the book has been a beacon of light, guiding me out of a dark and foggy place. It reignited my faith in my sensitivity, showing me that I can use it as a tool rather than letting it drag me down. It provided clarity on where I can reflect, improve, and implement practices to minimize the challenges and maximize the strengths of my sensitivity, ultimately becoming the most effective version of myself. It has helped me make sense of past experiences, and in doing so, it has allowed me to forgive myself. While it was uncomfortable to reflect on situations and acknowledge areas where I could have approached things differently, I now accept I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. There’s no point in placing blame—it’s more about moving forward and learning from what happened.

For anyone who resonates with my experience or sees similarities in their relationships—whether with a coworker, friend, lover, family member, or even a child—the book offers valuable guidance. It provides validation and encouragement in a gentle, soft way. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone looking to understand themselves or others better. The book offers insights that could help build a more compassionate and rational society, one where we are better able to regulate our emotions and be considerate of one another in our increasingly fast-paced, technological world.

In conclusion, the book emphasizes how to embrace our sensitive side, which can unlock our deepest potential. By nurturing this sensitivity, we can create a more just and compassionate environment that supports growth and well-being. The question now is: are you ready to bring that change into your own life and those around you?

For more information, you can check out their website: Highly Sensitive Refuge.